Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

I really don't look forward to Father's Day every year. Not that I don't have a reason to celebrate the goodness of my own dad and husband, but because of the reminder that my dad isn't around. My kids don't have fun memories of being with their Grandpa, because Jordan was 3 and Brooke was 1. It is a lot easier to just skip over things rather than face the emotions that well up inside. I think that is why I probably avoid going back to CA. It has been 16 1/2 years and when I really dwell on it, it feels like yesterday. But I find comfort in knowing that one day we will see him again and there will be time to enjoy those relationships on a different level. I hoped that he sent my children off from the preexistence with words of wisdom and helpful tidbits of information, because that is what made him unique. On the other hand, when I cherish the man that is the father of my children, I can't help but see some of my dad's qualities. Gary's dad left when he was about 2, so the dad that he has become has evolved from knowing what not to do and watching my dad and other good men. When Gary got his wisdom teeth taken out, it was my dad that sat by his side and made sure he was ok. But when Gary asked my dad if we could get married, my dad said, "Why?" He was pretty matter of fact and humorous also. I am so thankful for the Dad that Gary is. He is a constant reminder of what I am not. I feel like Ellie and Manny on Ice Age. He completes me. Thank you Gary, for being you.

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